The Naming of Undergraduates

NB: This is intended as a very light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek post, as it is the holidays. It is not intended to offend anyone, but let me know if it has, and I shall endeavour to rectify this.

Otherwise  – enjoy 🙂

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter 
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.

          ~ Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by T.S. Eliot

Thinking on T.S. Eliot’s poem over this holiday (I love reading poetry in my spare time) I have to report that I came to some startling realizations about the similarities between cats and student-kind, and propose that some undergraduates might actually be cats in disguise. Here are nine ways in which you may spot if any of the undergraduates in your department are, in reality, cats, based on the evidence I have gathered thus far.


Undergraduate….or cat?

  1. They naturally sleep through the day (and through some lectures).
  2. They are creatures of habit. Watching Neighbours at lunchtime is an absolute must.
  3. They are nocturnal. Book-hunting activity in the library is at its height during the night.
  4. They never appear during your office hours. But, when you have locked up the office, they will want to be on the other side of your office door.
  5. They play games on their iPads 
  6. They are quite tricky to get hold of when you want to speak to them. They do not answer email. Except at night (see point 3 above).
  7. They have a remarkable preference for @ProfAndyField ‘s statistics textbooks.
  8. As cats bring unexpected gifts for their humans, when teaching undergraduates, essays will often turn up out of nowhere, without explanation.
  9. Any attempt at training the above behaviours out of undergraduates will prove futile.

Feel free to add your own. :-p





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